1. Your FOMO is simmering down.
You no longer have FOMO when your friends go out every night of the week. Going to bed at a decent time and waking up without cottonmouth and the deadly feeling of dehydration is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
2. You look forward to spending time with the family.
Family time is not something that happens often anymore. Watching a movie with the family or having a home-cooked dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s is a blessing we used to take for granted.
3. You have to pay your own rent and speeding tickets.
The reality of working and paying bills is in fact real.
4. You’ve come to the conclusion that you cannot afford to go on spring break.
When everyone is talking about booking a spring break trip to Europe or Mexico and you realize you can’t afford it…
5. Going home for the weekend is the only time you can leave dishes in the sink and they will get cleaned.
Mom and Dad might just voluntarily wash your dirty dishes and laundry because they are so excited you went to visit them.
6. When your TV control is across the room you have to get up and get it yourself.
When your home you can yell “MOM! I can’t reach the control.” In your own apartment, no one cares that much about you.
7. Three consecutive nights of drinking is no longer easy (or fun).
Remember weeklongs? When you dressed up in fun outfits and went to a different themed party every night of the week? You can kiss those days goodbye because you know your body can no longer take that much drinking.
8. Wearing short dresses in the middle of winter does not happen anymore.
Wearing anything other than pants or leggings, and boots is a big joke.
9. Running more than 3 miles feels like a mini stroke.
If you do not work out on a daily basis, running anything more than 3 miles –or 1.5 miles—gives you legitimate heart pain and shortness of breath.
10. You are the happiest drinking a glass of wine and watching your favorite TV series in bed.
Who said being alone is a bad thing? A night alone with your laptop and some vino is very pleasing.
11. Your stuffed animals are no longer fluffy.
You’ve had those things for over 10 years now. Yes, they are still adorable and no, you will not stop sleeping with them just because they are missing an eye and smell like drool.
12. The kids you babysit don’t know whom the original American Girl dolls are and were born after the millennium.
When you tell the little boys to stop hitting on you because they are too young and their comeback is that they are “old enough” (but they were born in 2002), you know you are getting old.
13. Nap times are nice.
Making it a full day without a nap is an accomplishment that deserves to be celebrated… with a nap.
Breathe deeply –this is just the beginning of old age.
Photo by Gabby Mannino